I’m a mental health writer and advocate, and a suicide attempt survivor. I’ve told people on this blog many times, “Keep reaching out.” I’ve written multiple articles preaching the importance of vulnerability, defying stigma, and owning your struggles.
This is my whole thing, okay? This is what I do.
So when one of my closest friends died by suicide a few weeks ago, I wasn’t just shocked — I was completely gutted.
I thought there was never a question of whether or not my loved ones could reach out to me. But the very person who I’d talked to so often about mental health… didn’t call me.
Not even to say goodbye.
The last night I spent with them.
In the weeks following their suicide, my grief took me to dark places. I soon began having my own suicidal thoughts. And even then, when it was my turn to…
Last night we ventured off to Pinot’s Palette. A lovely place to unwind, drink some wine (or beer) and paint a piece for 2 hours. Grab your loved one, your mom, or a giant group of friends (as some people did) and paint~!
Our choice for the night was painting a cute floofy trash panda (raccoon)! I have barely any painting experience. I know how to mix colors at the very least.
My partner is an art school drop out, so I thought his painting would be miles ahead of everyone else, but you can judge that for yourself (lol).
We started off slowly. Just painting the background in an attempt to make it look like a lush forest. We outlined our raccoons and painted something somewhat resembling the bark of a tree.
By this point, I was a bit tipsy and forgot to take more in between photos, but I take a lot of the end for everyone. I hope you enjoy them.
As you can see, someone painted Pikachu and Totoro~! They were the cutest. My partner’s trash panda looks like John Lennon for some reason, but I can’t deny the glasses were a nice touch.
We made our way home afterward while still tipsy, and upon getting home he took a photo of me laying with our paintings. All in all, it was a great date night, and I recommend going if you’re in the bay area. I’ll link their location at the bottom. Thanks for reading~!
Yesterday I woke up feeling terrible. When I don’t get enough sleep, my body feels as if it wants to faint at any moment. Its not great. Mixed with my inability to take naps (for whatever reason) and you get a day where doing anything feels impossible.
The prior night, I said I was available to model for a class someone had already canceled for and I didn’t feel right calling out the day of, so begrudgingly I went in.
Well, that turned out to be a great decision.
I HAD A LOAD OF FUN~.
I was so giddy. I haven’t worked a class in a while where I became excited and got really into my character modeling.
Time for a bunch of photos~ Enjoy!
My night ended up being a blast. I got home by 10:30pm and my lovely partner had dinner prepared just as I got in. We enjoyed a meal from Plated (Roasted Salmon with Bok-Choy rice and Jalapeno lime glaze).
My day started off like normal. I usually walk my partner to the bus stop before he goes to work. We like to get coffee, talk, and then I go back home to work on stuff.
Well, while i’m walking home, a man decided it would be a great idea to stand right in front of me and corner me to ask questions. I’m used to people stopping me just to talk here in SF. Its not really surprising…Well, this man decided to ask me if I could give him a tour of the area. I tell him no because I have somewhere to be. He started to just ask me non stop questions. For example “well why can’t you? Whats so important? Is it work? Where do you work? What do you do for work? Why do you have to go to work?”
At this point, im just trying to get out of this. So I said ” I have to go now.”
Well this mother fucker decided to say “Oh okay, well i’m going to follow you, i’m nosey.”
I did walk off, and he did follow me. I was really scared, but luckily I didn’t have very far to go. As soon as i’m getting close to one of the doors to go inside, this dude decided to ask me for my number.
I said really loudly “NO” and ran into the door past a woman who was already going in. Luckily with these doors, you need a key fob to get in. I didn’t turn around to look back if he was still there. The entire thing just freaked me the fuck out and now I don’t feel safe enough to go out without my partner or a friend.